Oxygen Mask

We were out of cereal.

Each of the kids reminded me when I came downstairs that morning. I made a mental note to buy some later. 

But first, I had been asked to pick up supplies for our local women’s shelter. What I thought would be a simple errand ended up taking most of the day, and it was bedtime before I remembered we were still out of cereal. 

At that moment, I kid you not, the doorbell rang, and I opened it to find my sister holding eight boxes of cereal. I hadn’t told her we were out. She had just happened upon a sale and decided to buy some extra and drop it off. 

And then there was the babysitting.

I had two children under two at the time, when a single mother in the neighborhood asked if I could watch her toddler a few days a week while she worked. 

I confess my first thought was, there is no way. I was so tired and overwhelmed by my own babies that I could not imagine taking on another. But before I could come up with an excuse, I found myself saying yes. 

And then I found, in a way I simply cannot explain, that on the days I had that little girl in my home, I had more energy and was able to accomplish more than on the days I did not. 

One of the most common metaphors used for self-care is to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. 

It’s a reminder that we have to meet our own needs before we have anything to give.

It's great advice. Most of the time...

But sometimes as we reach for our own mask, so to speak, we catch sight of another passenger who is genuinely struggling to breathe. 

We might be struggling too, but still we are breathing more easily than they are, and that puts us in a position to help them first. Seeing their relief helps us forget for a moment the flight’s descent. 

Anne Frank said that no one ever became poor by giving.

In focusing a little more on others and a little less on ourselves, the oxygen we need - or the cereal, or the energy for our children - somehow seems to multiply.